“I love you dad because you make me into a sausage”?

Yep, you read that right. That was the card my five year old prepared at school and proudly presented to her dad, my husband that is, for Father’s Day.  Let’s just say, Hallmark might have some competition.

Now, before you raise an eyebrow, there’s a perfectly innocent explanation (and a whole lot of laughter involved). See, our evenings involve a rather peculiar ritual. My daughter fancies herself a runaway sausage roll, and her escape artist skills are put to the test as her dad, the designated “sausage roller,” swaddles her tightly in a blanket cocoon.

The chase that ensues is pure, hilarious chaos. Our living room transforms into a scene straight out of a B-movie, with a giggling, wiggling “sausage” desperately trying to outrun a monster with a ticklish disposition (a.k.a. her dad).

Dad, I Wrote a Book About You by M.H. Clark

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But here’s the thing: this seemingly bizarre game holds a deeper meaning. My daughter’s card, though phrased in the most literal way possible, captures the essence of fatherhood perfectly. Dads, you see, are the ultimate sausage roll architects of human burritos, smothering us in love ( and sometimes blankets) sometimes, but it’s all part of the grand plan to prepare us for the world.

Think about it. They’re the ones, who try to armor you for life’s inevitable bumps and bruises, even if it feels like they’re squeezing the fun out of things. Remember that time you wanted to stay out past midnight at 16? Yeah, the “monster” showed up then, wielding the veto power over “no-way” and curfews. Moms, bless their hearts, are the master negotiators in these situations. Nature’s way, I guess.

Another view: deep down, those monster roars and blanket cocoons are a dad’s way of preparing you to break free from the safety of their embrace. How many times have you heard the immortal words, “Get a job, son/daughter?” (Translation: It’s time to escape the sausage roll and face the world!)

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So, to all the dads out there, here’s to you. You may not always get the Hallmark treatment, but the love wrapped in a slightly-too-tight blanket is undeniable. Here’s to you for being the wurst (but also the best) at making us into capable, independent (and hopefully not-so-slippery) sausage rolls. Happy Father’s Day!