I just want to cry…

It was around 7:30 in the evening when a big van of UPS drove up my driveway and stoped behind my parked car. I gave it a glance from my kitchen window while washing the dishes, feeling exhausted from the day’s chores and a nasty cold that has been draining my energy since the beginning of the week.”Oh, some order arrived” I thought passively and uninterested, unlike any other day when I anticipate receiving a package.

I was frustrated. That same day an incident had me questioning the intentions and the quality of some of the people I interact with. How “just typical” and superficial can human relationships be? Sometimes I feel as if  my code of honor is too heavy for some to digest… yet it is so light and simple. Has the world changed that much? Am I some kind of fossil of an era when sincerity, trust, selflessness or respect had an actual meaning?

I couldn’t get it out of my mind: How easily can one back down on his word, especially when the other party has run miles to keep his? And I ‘m not talking about silly things… I never worried myself over unimportant stuff even when these had left a bitter taste in my mouth or they – no matter how insignificant and small – gave me a big slap on the face. I have a special category for these kind of situations: Category BIG X. And life goes on. No hard feelings. No remorse, no regrets, no intention to avenge.. Besides, after coming twice close to death, you realize  life is too short, too little to deal with littleness.

I opened my door and got out in the driveway. The driver of the van scanned a long rectangular green box and handed over to me after I signed. “It’s a little late for Valentine’s day” he said and gave me an almost guilty smile for bringing the parcel two days after Valentine’s day. “It’s never too late to express love” I instinctively replied.

My kids came at the entrance curious to see what the package was. “It’s from dad for Valentine’s!” I heard my son saying when he inspected the box externally and didn’t find any clue with regards to the sender.. “Open it!” But since the moment I took the package in my hands I knew it wasn’t from my husband: He had already offered me roses in advance, knowing he was going to be away from home for Valentine’s. It wasn’t any of my,  typical for Maui, online orders either. “No, it’s not from your dad, I know who it is from…” I replied and started opening the box feeling tears coming down my face.

The minute I opened the package my son just grabbed the card out of the box: “Oh!  it’s from Dona and the kids! They are sooo sweet! I soooo miss them mom!”… My daughter took out the teddy destined for her and gave it a hug, her eyes smiling: “I so want to go and visit them!! Please mom! please! Promise we will go!”

I took the flowers and arranged them in the vase that had been included in the box. I filled the vase with water and threw in the plant food following the instructions. And while the powder started dissolving in the fresh water so did my doubts, my worries, my questions on human relationships..

If I am a fossil of an era when sincerity, trust, selflessness or respect had an actual meaning, at least I know I’m not alone. You are godsend Dona. You are an angel. A real blessing. And our paths will cross again. And again.. And again..

I sincerely, selflessly and respectfully trust in you.

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You a million times.

Love You and Miss You…